Frozen
by aedy
Summary: The three of them used to be best friends until something changed and Puck pulled away. When Kurt asks for Puck's help, he gets his chance at finding out what happened.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Frozen  
>Characters: Kurt Hummel, Noah Puckerman, Finn Hudson<br>Pairings: Kurt/Finn, eventual Puck/Kurt  
>Genre: Romance<br>Beta: mavilous, chee17  
>Rating: PG<br>Art: Drawing By: naryakiuxen  
>Word Count: 20,100<br>Notes: This was written for the second round of the kurtbigbang  
>Summary: The three of them used to be best friends until something changed and Puck pulled away. When Kurt asks for Puck's help, he gets his chance at finding out what happened.<p>

**Part One**

Kurt bit down on his lower lip nervously, his hands tightening their hold around the strap of his shoulder bag. He took yet another deep breath before finally walking up to the boy standing at the locker a few feet away.

"Puck?" His voice sounded nervous even to his own ears and Kurt hated it. He hated every time he wasn't able to cover his emotions.

Puck's back tensed and his hand closed tightly around the metal of the locker door where it was resting before he slammed it shut. He turned around, fixing Kurt with a cold stare, trying to convey all his hatred for the boy in that one look. "What do you want, Hummel?"

Kurt found it almost funny how even something as simple as his last name could sound like an insult coming from the Puck's mouth. He gulped and willed himself to put on a tentative smile, to pretend that the cold tone wasn't affecting him. He slid back into his detached self. After all, not so long ago, Puck had been one of Kurt's bullies, and even now that they were in Glee together and Puck's bullying had stopped, he was still wary of the boy; they didn't suddenly become friends just because they were forced to sing together three times a week.

"It's mine and Finn's anniversary next month," he started. "And..."

"I don't care." Puck cut him off before turning around and starting to walk away.

Kurt quickly fell into step next to him. He wasn't going to let this go; it was important. So important to ask Puck for a favor, to start a conversation with the boy that had it made his mission to torment him for the last two years. "I need your help, Puck."

"Sorry. I'm a straight sex shark. I can't teach Hudson how to fuck your brains out."

Furrowing his brow in annoyance, Kurt reached out, placing a hand on Puck's arm to still him. Puck looked at Kurt's hand for a moment before shrugging it off and Kurt pretended not to feel hurt. He told himself that he was supposed to be used to it by now. After all, almost every boy at school didn't want to touch him, afraid of "catching the gay from his fairy dust." But no matter how much he tried to hide his hurt, there was a part of his brain that reminded him that Puck wasn't supposed to care about what the other students said, about what touching Kurt in public would make people say.

He took a step back and looked straight into Puck's hazel eyes, hoping that his own looked as cold as he was feeling in that moment. "I want to sing a song for him but I want it to be special because it's our two year anniversary. I want you to teach me how to play the song on the guitar."

Puck frowned before laughing coldly, like he thought Kurt had just gone crazy. "What?"

"I only know how to play the piano," Kurt told him, ignoring the derisory laugh. "And it would be predictable if I did that. So, could you..."

"Ask Artie or one of those losers in the jazz band." Puck looked at him with something akin to anger and Kurt couldn't understand why.

When Puck turned around and started walking down the hall, Kurt almost reached out again but stopped himself, closing his hands into tight fists at his sides.

"I can pay you," he said, thankful that the halls were already empty, the students having gone home. Kurt was only there because of Cheerios' practice and Puck because of detention. For some reason, he felt sad at having to resort to that. He almost wished Puck would keep walking away.

"How much?" Puck didn't even turn around when he asked.

Kurt swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat and wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to them. "I pay my piano teacher 20$ per hour, would that be okay?"

There was a pause and Kurt wondered what was going through Puck's mind, if he was thinking about something else besides the money, if perhaps he was debating whether 20$ was worth having to spend time alone with Kurt.

Finally, he glanced back at Kurt from over his shoulder. "I need the music sheets so I can learn the song before teaching it to you."

"Sure." Kurt put on his best fake smile, and feigned cheerfulness at the idea of getting what he wanted and said, "I can give it to you at lunch tomorrow, in the choir room."

"Whatever." Puck started walking away again and this time, Kurt let him go.

GLEE

Being with Finn was great and Kurt knew that he was probably the best boyfriend he could ever hope to get. Finn treated him like he was something precious. He wasn't afraid to hold his hand in public and even joined Glee Club just to spend more time with Kurt, despite the fact that being in the club meant that his reputation had crumpled down like a house of cards.

Finn whispered 'I love you' in his ear every time they slept together, he even waited patiently for more than a year before Kurt was finally ready to be with Finn in every sense. Being with Finn was perfect and Kurt hated himself whenever he thought about his future and didn't envision Finn in it. He didn't know why; he didn't do it consciously, it just happened that way. He would picture himself five years from now and he'd be living in New York like he had always dreamed, but Finn was never there with him. It was part of the reason why he wanted their two year anniversary to be perfect, because his heart told him that there wouldn't be a third one, and because he desperately wanted to make the best of the time they had together.

Truth to be told, sometimes Kurt was scared of the future, just like everyone else. He was scared of making the wrong choices, which was why he never told Finn that sometimes he doubted what they had. He was scared that leaving Finn would be a greater mistake than staying with him. He felt like a horrible person whenever he thought that, but it wasn't something he could really help.

He spent a long time thinking about what to do for their anniversary and singing a song to him while playing the guitar, looked like the perfect gift, because they both loved music and Finn had sung to Kurt more than once since they had joined the glee club. And he loved Finn, he really did, which was why he had decided that he could sit through hours spent alone with Puck, since it would be worth it in the end.

He just hoped that Puck wouldn't decide to suddenly go back at bullying him, because now that Puck had stopped throwing him in the dumpsters and giving him swirlies, the only thing he had to put up with was Karofsky and Azimio pushing him in the lockers and calling him names. But it wasn't so bad as when Puck had bullied him, because while the shoves in the lockers hurt physically, when it was Puck, it hurt emotionally.

Kurt went online and downloaded the music sheet for the song he had chosen. He stared at the paper in his hands for a while, his mind going from how Finn would react to the song, to how was he going to hide everything from his boyfriend for almost a month.

When his father's voice called him up for dinner, Kurt put every thought of Puck and the next morning out of his mind. He told himself that he had nothing to fear.

GLEE

"Hey, Kurt, are you coming to lunch with us?"

Kurt shook his head at Mercedes, giving her an apologetic smile. "I have something to do, sorry."

Mercedes raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Something to do, huh?"

Kurt blushed, his mind conjuring up images of him and Puck doing _something_ and where did that thought come from? "No, God, no, I just have something I need to do for mine and Finn's anniversary!"

And now Mercedes was looking at him surprised. "Okay, calm down, I was just joking."

"I... I need to go. I'll see you later." He waved at her before quickly making his way to the choir room. He could still feel his cheeks burning when he closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath, glad to see that Puck wasn't there yet. He walked over to the piano bench and sat down, pulling out the music sheet for the song he wanted Puck to teach him from his bag. He glanced at the clock, seeing that they still had almost half an hour of lunch break left. He looked at the door for a moment, unable to stop himself from wondering if Puck was going to show up at all, then he turned around, pulled up the lid from the piano keys and started to press on the keys distractedly.

"Make it quick, Hummel."

Kurt jumped, startled, and looked at Puck standing in the doorway. "I didn't hear you coming inside."

"Make it quick," he repeated, glancing at the hall from the window in the door to check that no one would see him inside the choir room with Kurt.

"Of course," Kurt said bitterly and quickly got up and picked up the music sheet from over the piano. He walked up to Puck and extended his hand. "Here. It should be simple enough." He took a deep breath and relaxed a little when he saw Puck grabbing the sheet. "We can do it here if you want. After school, when I don't have Cheerios practice and you football."

Puck shook his head, glancing briefly at Kurt before folding the sheet and putting it away in the back pocket of his jeans. "No. I don't want people thinking we're hooking up or something."

"Of course." Kurt nodded and picked up his bag. "You can come over to mine after school then." He looked straight into Puck's eyes and couldn't stop himself from saying, "That is, if you're not too afraid of people seeing you drive by my house." He walked around Puck and out of the choir room, feeling suddenly angry.

He wondered why Puck had no problems with Finn being gay but had made his mission to hate Kurt for it.

If he had turned around, he would have seen Puck watching him walk away.

GLEE

Kurt put his book in the locker with so much force that he practically threw it inside. The metal vibrated from the impact and some of his books slipped out and fell onto the floor. "Damn." He knelt down and started to pick them up.

"What happened?" Finn bent down and retrieved the last of the fallen books, handing it to his boyfriend. "Did someone..."

"No, I knocked them down when I put away my English book." He put the books back in his locker and then looked up at Finn, smiling. "Thanks for helping me."

Finn gave him his dopey little grin before kissing him softly. "I missed you at lunch," he said, pulling back. He waited for Kurt to close his locker before sliding his arm around his shoulders and starting to walk towards the choir room for Glee. "Mercedes said you had to study for a test."

"Yeah, sorry." Kurt silently thanked his best friend for coming up with an excuse. If Finn got suspicious, he'd start snooping around and the last thing Kurt wanted was for him to find out about the surprise. "So, did I miss anything?"

Finn shrugged. "Puck had a fight with Rachel because she insists that he doesn't focus enough on glee and then Puck stormed out of the cafeteria calling her an annoying hobbit." He shook his head. "He looked a little angry to be honest, even before Rachel got on his case."

Kurt nodded absentmindedly, thinking that Puck was probably annoyed that he had to spend time with Kurt. "I'm sure it's nothing. Santana probably isn't putting out."

Finn chuckled kissing Kurt on his temple just as they arrived at the choir room. "I'm so glad you're not bitchy with me."

"Are you implying that I'm easy?" Kurt asked, laughing and pushing Finn inside the room. Finn grinned at him, shaking his head before grabbing his hand to lead him to one of the seats in the last row.

Everyone was there except for Mr. Schue, who walked in a few moments later smiling brightly at them.

"Okay guys, Nationals are just around the corner and we need to get ready. This year, we have to win."

"I can't wait to be in Los Angeles," Rachel said excitedly. "I've been dreaming about that city almost as much as I've dreamed about New York."

"Calm your tits, Berry," Santana told her. "We have to find a good number before going there."

"Santana's right," Mr. Schue said. "We need to work on being a team, so I want you guys to come up with a performance that you think may be good for Nationals, and I'm not talking about solos," he quickly added when Rachel's hand shot up in the air. "It needs to be a group number. You will have to work together on it. At the end of the month, you will show it to me and I will decide if it can be put on our list of performances for Nationals. You did great last year with your Theatricality numbers and the boys vs girls performances, so I'm sure you will come up with something that will amaze me."

Mr. Schue gathered his things and smiled encouragingly at New Directions. "I don't want to be spoiled, so I will just leave you guys to it. Don't let me down."

As soon as Mr. Schue was out the door, Rachel got up and walked to the center of the choir room. "I have so many ideas for this..."

"We have to decide together, Rachel," Kurt told her. "As much as I'd like to help you put up a school version of "Wicked," I really don't think it's what we need."

"No show tunes," Finn told his boyfriend and Rachel, looking completely uncomfortable.

"And no Kiss," the girls said all at the same time.

"We need something like Journey's medley last year. Something that's ours," Mercedes said. "That will get the audience to cheer and sing."

Rachel nodded and walked back to her seat. "We have so much work to do." She looked at Kurt then and said, "We need a great choreography. You came up with the whole "Single Ladies" and "Bad Romance" choreographies last year, so I think you should work on the dance part of our performance. With Brittany and Tina," she quickly added.

"We could come over at your place after school and..."

"I can't," he said quickly, cutting Tina off. He shot a nervous glance at Finn happy to notice that he had turned his attention onto something Mike was saying. "I'm busy after school."

"But Kurt..."

"It doesn't need to be perfect, it's just an assignment," he said, cutting Rachel off, because he really had no intentions of wasting time on this when he had to learn how to play a song on the guitar in a little less than a month. "If Mr. Schue ends up liking it then we will have more time to work on it. I'm sure that our glee hours will do."

"Okay."

Once they had decided on a song, and it took them a while to get everyone to agree on the same thing, they gathered their things and left the choir room. Kurt hung back with Finn and Puck while the girls and the rest of the boys left.

"So, tonight we have our Halo marathon," Finn told his best friend while Puck was busy picking up his guitar. He got a small nod in return and his eyebrows knitted together into a frown. "What's going on with you today?"

"Nothing." Puck straightened his back and looked at Finn as if Kurt wasn't even in the room. "You can come over after dinner."

"Sure."

Puck quickly left the choir room and Finn sighed. "He's definitely in a bad mood. I wonder what happened."

Kurt nodded walking over to him and sliding his fingers through Finn's. "I don't know."

"Do you want to tag along tonight? You can play with me and Puck."

Kurt shook his head while they made their way out of the choir room and down the halls. "You know I don't like Halo."

"We can play something else."

"It's okay. We spend so much time together and I don't want you to neglect your friendship with him."

"Have I ever told you that you're like, the best boyfriend ever?"

Kurt laughed. "A few times."

GLEE

Whenever Finn had a night with Puck and wouldn't be around, Kurt would take the chance to do a longer moisturizing routine and spend some time with his father. What he wasn't expecting was for the doorbell to ring around eleven.

"Can you get that, Kurt?" Burt asked his son without looking away from the TV screen.

Kurt got up from the couch huffing, and when he opened the door he barely got the "What can..." out before he stopped and stared at the boy standing on his front porch, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his worn out jeans and his head hanging low as if he didn't even want to look Kurt in the eyes.

"I learned your stupid song."

"Already?" Kurt asked, recovering from the shock. "And what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to let you know that I'm coming over tomorrow." Puck raised his eyes, finally looking straight at Kurt. "It's not complicated, I learned it in an afternoon, so it shouldn't take you long even though you have no idea of what to do with a guitar."

Kurt nodded and smiled tightly at the other boy. "Okay." He glanced back over his shoulder to see if his father was listening in, but Burt was laughing at something that was happening in the movie they were watching. Kurt looked back up at Puck and asked, "Why did you come over?"

"I don't have your number and I didn't want to talk to you tomorrow at school."

"Of course." He didn't try to hide the bitterness in his tone. "You could have called here, we never changed our number." He stopped for a moment."Not that I think you still have it, but your mother..."

"Look, Kurt, Finn left and my mom was sleeping so I didn't want to wake her up and ask for your number. I came here and I told you what I needed to tell you, so I'm just going to go."

Kurt studied the boy standing in front of him, how he'd divert his gaze from Kurt's every few seconds and how he kept taking a step forward and one backward. He almost asked what was wrong before catching himself. He stepped further inside the house and said, "Well, thank you then. I really appreciate your help."

"Whatever." Puck used that tone he always used whenever he wanted to show how much he didn't care. He turned around and jogged down the steps leading up the porch before Kurt could say anything else, and he just stood there, watching Puck walk up to his truck, get inside and drive away. He didn't even know why he was doing it.

When he closed the door he heard his father turning off the TV, looking at him from the couch.

"Was that Puck? It sounded like him, or at least like I remember him sounding."

"Yeah, it was him." He walked over to the couch and sat down next to his father. "Were you eavesdropping?"

"Just when I heard a guy's voice." Burt looked at his son curiously trying to stop himself from asking what it was all about. In the end, he settled for feigned indifference and said, "So, it's been a while since I last saw him around."

Kurt snorted. "Yeah, ever since he nailed our lawn furniture to the roof."

Burt rolled his eyes. "I meant since the last time he came here and actually talked to you."

With a shrug, Kurt got up from the couch, ready to go to bed. "Before you ask, I don't know what happened. Believe me, I wish I did so I could just move on, but every time I see him, all I want to do is punch him in the face and ask what the hell happened." He took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. He's helping me out with a gift for Finn so he'll be around for the next few weeks."

"Okay. And I'm sorry if I upset you."

"It's okay, Dad." Kurt kissed him on the cheek and bid him good night before going down to his room. He was tired of Puck getting to him. He hated being ignored by him without even knowing what the hell had happened between them, and he was tired of caring. It had been two whole years since they had last been friendly with each other and he knew it was time to let it go, but he wanted to know, he _needed_ to know.

He threw himself down on his bed and a second later his phone buzzed on the night stand signaling an incoming message. He turned on his side and reached for it, blinking against the brightness of the screen. The message was from Finn and it was a simple,

_'Hey, I got home earlier because Puck was grumpy. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Love you.'_

Kurt sighed, putting the phone back down on the nightstand before lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. Try as he might, his mind wouldn't stop going back to Puck and he felt that long forgotten knot tightening in his chest. For the first time since he thought about asking for Puck's help, Kurt regretted his decision. He wasn't supposed to feel anything at the thought of spending time alone with Puck for the first time in years.

GLEE

The next day at school everything was normal. Finn was waiting for him like always; to make sure that the jocks wouldn't try to throw Kurt in the dumpster again. Kurt laced his fingers with his boyfriend's and felt that sense of normality and calm come back. He smiled up at Finn before kissing him good morning and when he pulled back, the little grin Finn had on his face made Kurt feel okay.

Throughout the day, Puck and Kurt ignored each other, and by the time school was over, Kurt wasn't even feeling anxious anymore.

"You said that you're working at the garage today?" Finn asked on their way out.

Kurt nodded while they crossed the parking lot. He guessed that a little lie didn't really matter since he was lying because of something he was doing for Finn. "You can come over for dinner if you want."

"I can't. My mom has her new boyfriend over tonight and I need to be there." Finn scrunched up his nose in distaste and Kurt got on his tiptoes, his hand curling around the back of his boyfriend's neck to bring him down for a kiss. He took his time exploring Finn's mouth, lazily stroking his tongue against Finn's, resting a hand right over Finn's heart, feeling it beat underneath his palm.

When Finn slid his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him in closer, Kurt pulled back, laughing. "I better go."

Finn smiled at him pecking him on the lips before releasing his hold. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yes. Let me know if the boyfriend is okay."

"I doubt it."

"Hey," Kurt called after him while Finn was starting to walk away. He waited for his boyfriend to turn around before saying, "Give him a chance, you may actually like him."

"I'll try," Finn told him with a shrug.

Kurt watched him walk away for a moment before turning around and getting inside his Navigator to drive home.

GLEE

Kurt was nervous, though he didn't want to admit it. He had kidded himself into thinking that everything was okay, but as soon as he was home, the anxiousness had come back again. Burt wasn't home and that actually made it a little bit better because it was going to be awkward enough having Puck over for the first time in two years without his father being there to make it worse.

He pulled a few cans of 7 Up out of the fridge because he remembered that Puck used to like to drink it. He stopped with the cans in his hands and looked at them as if they were something completely foreign. He realized in that moment, just how much time they had spent not being friends; he didn't even know if Puck had changed his tastes. He almost threw the cans he had bought just for this occasion in the trash, out of frustration, but before he could, the doorbell rang.

He put the cans down on the table of the kitchen and sighed before going to open the door. "Hey, Puck," he greeted.

Puck barely nodded at him before walking inside. "Are you ready?" he asked right away.

Kurt nodded, waving towards the kitchen. "I made us a few snacks if you are hungry and..."

"I'm okay. We should start working on your song." He didn't wait for Kurt to answer him but chose to walk towards Kurt's bedroom. He stopped when he realized what he was doing and glanced at Kurt who was looking at him surprised. "Is your room still in the basement?"

"Yeah." Kurt felt something he thought long forgotten starting to stir inside him when he saw that Puck still remembered where his bedroom was. It wasn't so surprising, it had only been two years after all, but he couldn't help but feel almost content for a moment. "Do you still drink 7 Up?" he asked.

Puck seemed taken aback by the question, but nodded. "Yes."

"I'll be down in a minute, then." Kurt turned around and walked back inside the kitchen and picked up the cans and the sandwiches he had made before going down to his room.

He found Puck standing at the edge of his bed, the guitar case laid down on the mattress and opened. Puck had his back to the stairs and so Kurt cleared his throat to announce his presence. He walked over to his desk and put everything down before nervously looking at Puck.

"If you get hungry..."

"Okay, thanks." Puck ran a hand over his mohawk and seemed to be trying to calm himself down. "It's a simple song so it won't take us long. I can teach you the first chords today and then I can come over on Friday."

"Alright," Kurt said nodding. He walked closer to Puck and looked down at the guitar. "I always liked it when you played with Finn. He was never really good, though," he said fondly and he missed the look of resentment that crossed Puck's eyes. "Let's get to work, alright?" He picked up the guitar and turned towards Kurt, sliding the strap over Kurt's shoulders. "Sit down on the floor, it will be easier."

Kurt nodded doing as he was told. He sat down on the floor with his legs crossed, the guitar resting comfortably on his thighs. "So, what do I do now?"

Puck sat down behind him and Kurt was startled for a moment. He wasn't used to being so close to Puck, not anymore. When the jock used to throw him into dumpsters, he usually held Kurt by his chest, but that was different, it wasn't something that was supposed to be intimate or even friendly. But now, with Puck settled behind him, his legs on either side of Kurt's waist, he couldn't help but feel like this was something different, something more.

For a moment, he felt himself tensing and judging by Puck's next words, he noticed.

"Relax. I'm not going to beat you up. If I stand behind you, I can guide your fingers over the chords in the right away. If I stood in front of you, you wouldn't understand what to do and we don't exactly have a lot of time."

Kurt nodded, trying to stir his thoughts away from Puck's hot breath ghosting over his neck. "I promise to try and learn as quickly as I can, so you won't have to spend any more time with me than necessary."

Puck shrugged behind him and Kurt saw Puck's hands coming to rest on his own, guiding his fingers over the strings of the guitar. He let Puck guide him through the first verse of the song.

"It's not that hard," he said after half an hour. Puck chuckled behind him.

"That's because I'm playing with you. Here, do it yourself," he said letting go of Kurt's hands.

Kurt furrowed his brow in concentration and tried to remember all the chords, but he didn't get more than a few right. "Damn. I suck."

Puck slid his hands over Kurt's again and shook his head. "It just takes time. No one learns to play a song, on an instrument they don't know how to play, in half an hour."

Kurt sighed heavily and moved his fingers under Puck's, trying to memorize everything, but the more Puck leaned into him to look from over his shoulder where their fingers were, the more Kurt started to lose focus. Finally, Kurt stilled his fingers over the strings.

He exhaled slowly, feeling his back press harder against Puck's chest and he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty if in that moment he found himself wanting more of that contact, those feelings he had tried to forget and push away for years, surging right back to the surface.

He wanted to turn around and look at Puck, but he found himself lowering his head, his gaze fixed on where Puck's hands were still resting over his. He wondered in that moment why Puck hadn't pulled away already since he always seemed to be going out of his way to avoid touching Kurt.

Even knowing that his next words were likely going to break the moment, he found he couldn't stop himself from voicing that one question that had been plaguing him for years now.

"What happened to us?" His voice was grave, unabashedly carrying all those emotions that he had always repressed.

Kurt sighed, disappointed, when Puck tensed behind him.

"What?"

Kurt dared to glance at Puck and found himself staring into wary hazel eyes. "We used to be friends," he said, trying to turn around completely, but Puck's legs were still around him, trapping him. "The three of us," he added in almost a whisper.

Puck shrugged, looking away. "Nothing happened."

Kurt chuckled humorlessly. "One day you were my best friend and the next day you were ignoring me."

Puck pulled away quickly after that. He got up and started gathering his things. "Keep the guitar to practice with, you can give it back when we're done."

"Puck..."

"I have to go."

"Wait. Just tell me what the hell happened," he said, frustrated. His right hand tightened around the neck of the guitar while his eyes followed Puck across the room.

"I didn't want to be picked on anymore just because I was your friend," Puck said, his hand on the handrail of the stairs and one of his feet awkwardly resting on the first step.

It sounded so shallow that Kurt didn't want to believe it. He told himself that it couldn't be the real reason.

"I don't believe you."

"That's your problem." And Puck was back at using that cold tone, the one that was full of indifference.

"We were best friends, Puck, and you want me to believe that you threw it all away in the span of a day because they picked on you?" Kurt glared at the jock's back. "They never even picked on you. Find a better excuse. And what about Finn..."

"It's different. Finn liked sports and was the quarterback. But you..."

"I'm not man enough," he finished for him bitterly. "Of course. It's always the same, isn't it? You got your reputation and everyone but Finn left you because you may have thought that the football team were your friends, but truth is, you were alone. You still are."

Kurt wanted Puck to hurt even just for one moment. He was sure that Puck was going to hit him or insult him, but all Puck did was start going up the stairs. "I'll see you on Friday," he said, just before closing the door of the bedroom behind him.

Kurt remained sitting on the floor, holding the guitar long after the front door had been slammed shut.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

After having spent the night thinking about what had happened with Puck, Kurt decided that he had to apologize, not only because he still needed Puck's help, but because he didn't want to lose the chance of getting close to Puck again. He had never told anyone how much he missed Puck, but ever since they had stopped talking, he had felt like something was missing, like he was walking around without an arm.

He approached Puck at his locker the next day, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves like he had done when asking for Puck's help. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." He talked quickly without waiting for Puck to turn around.

Kurt took the fact that Puck stopped grabbing his books from the locker as a sign that he was listening. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

Puck finally turned around to face him and his expression was guarded, as if he was ready to bolt as soon as Kurt hinted at wanting to resume their conversation. He studied Kurt for a few moments, taking in the honesty in his blue eyes and the nervous way with which he was holding onto the strap of his bag. Finally, he nodded and then shrugged as if he was unsure on how he was supposed to act. "Nothing happened, so there's no need to apologize." He saw Kurt relax, his lips curving upwards into a smile. "I'm still going to help you, don't worry."

Kurt frowned, taking a step closer to Puck. He felt as if he needed Puck to understand that this wasn't just about singing to Finn. "That's not why I was apologizing. I..." he trailed off for a moment, wondering exactly how honest he could be when he himself was confused about what he was feeling. "I don't want things to go back to the way they were before. I don't want you to just stop talking to me, Puck." He forced himself to keep his gaze locked with Puck, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Puck's hand flexing around the books he was holding. He wondered what Puck was holding himself back from.

"Okay." That one word was barely out of Puck's mouth before he slammed his locker shut and turned around, walking away and disappearing through the other students.

Kurt's eyes stayed fixed on Puck until he couldn't see him anymore. He wanted to tell Puck that it was a lie, that whatever had happened hadn't been nothing. What he had felt while Puck had his arms around him, that nervousness mixed with trepidation, were real and scary, and the way Puck had closed himself off all of a sudden meant that he wasn't as unaffected as he wanted to believe.

Kurt tightened his hold on the strap of his bag unconsciously while he turned around to walk in the direction of his first period, his mind set on finding out the truth.

GLEE

Between working on the glee assignment, helping his father at the garage and being there for Finn who was dealing with his mother's new boyfriend, Kurt was tired when Friday finally arrived; he was definitely looking forward to the weekend.

The doorbell rang at five and Kurt looked at himself in the mirror for a moment before jogging up the stairs. He carefully didn't think about why he was making sure to look good. When he reached the top of the staircase that connected the basement to the main part of the house, he heard Burt's voice coming from the living room.

"It's been so long since I last saw you."

"You look great, Mr. H."

Burt laughed and Kurt leaned against the wall, listening for a moment. Puck sounded nervous, like he was trying to be polite. It all felt so different.

"Kurt told me you're helping him."

"Yeah, it's for Finn."

"I know." Burt's voice sounded strangely curious for a moment. "Is he paying you?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Kurt heard Burt clearing his throat followed by the sound of a beer can being opened. "It did look strange that you were giving up your Friday nights to help him out since you're not friends anymore."

For a few long moments the only sound coming from the room was the opening theme of Deadliest Catch and Kurt almost rounded the corner to get Puck, but stopped when he heard his former best friend saying, "He asked for my help. I couldn't..."

"I know." There was another pause and this time Kurt did walk into the living room. Puck looked up, startled, and Burt quickly hid his smirk behind his beer can.

"Hey, Puck," he greeted, and he felt stupid when he could hear nervousness in his voice. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, sure." Puck looked back at Burt and nodded once before heading towards the basement.

"We'll be downstairs, Dad."

"Be good," Burt told him looking at his son for a moment with an expression Kurt couldn't really decipher before turning back to the TV.

Kurt quickly made his way to the basement and found Puck standing at the center of the room, his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. He smiled coming down the stairs. "I practiced a little these last few days, so we won't have to spend as much time on the first chords as we did last time."

"Okay." Puck looked around, searching for his guitar, Kurt walked inside his closet and came out holding it.

"Mercedes and Tina came over yesterday and I figured you didn't want them to see your guitar here in my room, so I put it away."

"Thanks." Puck stepped towards Kurt, reaching out to grab the strap of the guitar and sliding it over Kurt's head before taking the boy's hands into his to place them over the strings of the guitar. "Let's run through the first verse again, alright?"

Puck's voice was lower than usual and it took Kurt a moment or two to be able to take his eyes away from the boy's face so he could focus on what he was doing.

They spent the next two hours going through the first two verses of the song, but even when they sat on the floor, Puck was always careful never to touch Kurt for longer than necessary, to sit in front of him instead of behind, and to never meet his eyes. They didn't look up at the clock until Burt's voice came from upstairs, asking if Puck was staying for dinner.

Kurt glanced at Puck, who still had his hand over Kurt's guiding his fingers across the strings, and tried to let him know that it was okay if he wanted to stay for dinner.

"I should go." Quickly, Puck stood up and retrieved his bag and headed towards the stairs. He stopped with his hand on the hand rail and looked back at Kurt. "You're picking it up quickly." His lips curved into a smile and Kurt couldn't remember the last time that gesture had been aimed at him. "You don't suck so bad."

It was the first friendly thing Puck had ever told him in years and Kurt's lips twitched into a half smile that grew bigger and bigger with each step Puck took up the stairs. He heard Puck telling Burt, "Thank you, Mr. H, maybe next time. Ma's waiting for me" and then listened to the door being opened and then closed.

He let himself fall backwards, awkwardly hugging the guitar across his chest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and for a moment there wasn't any doubt in his mind and it was scary.

GLEE

Kurt was barely out of his Navigator when Mercedes walked up to him and took his arm, sliding it through hers. "I just saw your boyfriend asking Rachel to help him pick a song for you."

"Really?" Kurt's lips curved into a pleasant smile and he started walking with a bounce in his step.

"You've got yourself a perfect boyfriend, Kurt." Mercedes giggled and shook her head. "Can you believe that in just a few more months you're going to be living in New York with him?"

Kurt furrowed his brow and diverted his gaze. The truth was that he still had to make plans with Finn for after high school. They had talked about it without being serious. Kurt would talk about living in New York and Finn would look at him with a small smile, as if he was letting Kurt dream big enough for both of them, but they had never sat down and discussed what they were going to do.

"I don't know," he said quietly, keeping his eyes downcast.

"What do you mean?" Mercedes stopped walking without letting go of Kurt's arm, so he had to stop too. "You two never talked about it?"

"We did." Kurt shrugged and looked towards the end of the hall. His eyes found Finn right away; he was easily to spot among the crowd of students. Finn was leaning against a locker with his back turned towards the school entrance. When he turned around to open his locker, Kurt saw that Finn was talking with Puck and he let his eyes linger on his former best friend.

Mercedes followed Kurt's gaze, smiling when she noticed the small smile Kurt was sending Finn's way. It was only when Finn closed his locker and waved at Puck before starting to walk away that she glanced back to her friend and found that his gaze hadn't moved. When she looked back to the row of lockers, she saw that Puck was still there, having been stopped by a teammate.

"Kurt?" She asked tentatively, and it took Kurt a moment or two before turning around to look at her. He raised an eyebrow questioningly and Mercedes frowned. "Are you..." She trailed off, unable to believe what she had just witnessed.

"Are you okay, 'Cedes?"

She recovered quickly, straightening her back and smiling. "Yeah, sure."

"What were you going to ask me?"

"Nothing." She shook her head and started talking about glee, carefully avoiding mentioning either Finn or Puck and, after a while, Kurt stopped looking at her in confusion and started telling her about the choreography he was thinking about.

At lunch, Kurt sat at his usual table, Mercedes on his right side and Finn on his left. Finn talked about the latest football practice until the rest of the glee club joined them and then the conversation moved to different topics.

"How is the choreography coming along?" Brittany asked.

"I'm still working on it. I hope to have it ready soon enough. We should probably ask Mr. Schue for a little bit of time." He smiled and glanced at Finn. "I think you will need extra practice to get the steps right."

Everyone laughed and Finn leaned down to get a kiss that Kurt didn't hesitate to reciprocate. He closed his eyes and ignored their friends teasing them, but when Puck's voice suddenly said, "What's up guys?" Kurt pulled back, grateful that Finn didn't seem to notice anything strange going on.

"Kurt was telling us about the choreography for glee," Santana answered. She smirked, looking at Finn and Kurt and added, "And then Kurt suggested some _extra practice_ for Finn."

When their fellow glee mates laughed, Kurt blushed, fixing his gaze on the table.

Puck didn't answer though, asking Mike about football practice instead.

Kurt wondered what made him pull away from Finn when Puck had arrived, but all he could come up with was that perhaps he had failed to bury his feelings deep enough.

GLEE

Frost was finally getting a reaction out of Nixon when Kurt tore his eyes away from the television screen and looked at Burt.

"Dad?"

"Huh?"

He hesitated for a moment before asking, "How did you know about mom?"

Burt glanced briefly at his son, taking a sip from his beer and then returning his attention back to the movie. "I'm not sure I understand what you're asking."

Kurt bit on his lower lip, clasping his hands in his lap and fixing his eyes on them. "I mean, when did you realize you wanted to be with her for the rest of your life? Was it when you realized you loved her or later on?"

Burt put his beer down on the table and then adjusted his baseball cap before swiping his hands on the legs of his jeans. "Is there a particular reason you're asking?"

When Kurt looked up, he found Burt frowning slightly, but to him it looked more in a look of curiosity than confusion.

"I guess."

"Is this about Finn and Puck?"

Kurt's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head in denial, but Burt laughed and reached for the remote to pause the movie.

"Look, I'm not good with sentimental stuff, you know that, but I can tell you that for me it was when I realized that I was thinking about the future and making plans for two, not only for me. I don't mean imagining spending the future together like lots of teens do, but actually seeing myself with her by my side in a concrete way."

Kurt looked back at his hands still resting in his lap. That was his problem, wasn't it? He had never imagined his future with Finn by his side, not with Finn being anything more than a friend anyway. However, he loved Finn, he knew that that much was true, but he was starting to wonder if it was the right kind of love.

You spend your life with a person for so long that after a while you can't tell anymore what kind of love yours is. He wanted Finn in his life, he knew that he'd miss him if he wasn't there, he knew that he wanted to keep growing up with Finn by his side, but lately, with his feelings for Puck surfacing again, he was starting to really grasp exactly _how_ he wanted Finn to be in his life. He wanted Finn-the-best-friend, not Finn-the-boyfriend, and it made him feel guilty. He should have realized that sooner.

"Kurt?"

"Huh?" He looked up at his father and found a sympathetic expression on his face.

"Just go with what you feel. Someone is always going to get hurt, son." Burt pressed play on the remote and the movie started again.

Kurt quietly slid closer to his father and leaned his head on his shoulder.

GLEE

The last thing Kurt wanted was to make a decision. Part of him was still trying to figure out whether his feelings for Puck were real or if they were just built on, while there was another part of him that kept telling him to hold onto Finn and what they had: something familiar, something that wasn't scary.

When the doorbell rang, Kurt was pulled out of his thoughts. Burt was still at the garage, meaning that Kurt and Puck were going to have the house to themselves for the next two hours; Kurt swore to himself not to let things get awkward this time.

After opening the door, he greeted Puck with a smile and a simple, "Hey," before stepping aside to let Puck in, receiving a nod in response before Puck headed to the basement.

Kurt closed the door and leaned against the wood, closing his eyes for a moment to steel himself for the next two hours. He needed to pick up all those confusing thoughts running through his head and put them away.

"Kurt?" Puck called from the bedroom a few minutes later.

"Coming!" He walked inside the kitchen and retrieved two cans of Coke and a plate of sandwiches he had fixed earlier in case Puck got hungry. He closed the fridge with his foot and then headed downstairs. When his eyes fell on Puck, who was sitting on the floor playing his guitar, Kurt stopped.

Puck had his eyes closed and his brows were furrowed in concentration. Kurt didn't recognize the song, but he and Puck had always had different tastes in music. It reminded him of when they used to fight about it; Kurt trying to get Puck to listen to show tunes and Puck trying to convince Kurt that KISS was the best thing ever.

The truth was that Kurt's mother died not long after Puck's dad left, and the music they listened to was the last thing their parents had left them. They were trying to hold onto those things that had once been a link to someone that wasn't in their lives anymore.

Kurt went down the rest of the stairs and walked over to the desk to put the drinks and the plate down. He kept his back to Puck and busied himself with moving his music sheets aside to make some room on the desk.

"Are you okay?"

The question took Kurt by surprise. He turned around slowly, finding Puck staring at him. "Yes," he answered, and his voice sounded uncertain to his own ears. "Why do you ask?"

Puck shrugged before sliding the guitar off and standing up. He walked over to the desk and Kurt took a step back; it earned him a confused look from Puck. "You seem a little... off." He reached for a sandwich and took a bite without looking away from Kurt.

"I just have a lot on my mind, that's all." That was the truth, Kurt told himself. Puck didn't need to know exactly what he was thinking about.

Puck nodded, chewing slowly. "I get it," he said, licking his lips before swallowing the bite of sandwich. "We're all pretty stressed out with all these big decisions we have to make. The future and all that." He turned the chair of the desk around and straddled it, his eyes quickly finding Kurt's again. "Are you worried about colleges?"

The question was honest and sounded a lot like Puck actually cared about receiving an answer. It felt strange for a moment, as if his best friend was back after a two-year absence. He ended up shaking his head and perching himself up on the desk. He grabbed a coke and opened it, taking a sip before looking back at Puck. "Not really. I've always known what I wanted and I've spent the last few years working to get it. I applied to a few schools, all in New York, and I'm quite confident about the results."

Puck grinned at him. "That's great. I'm putting all my hopes in one place and if it doesn't work out..." He trailed off with a shrug, but Kurt could actually read on his face how worried he truly was. It made him smile.

Kurt studied him in silence for a few moments; he looked uncertain and a little lost. "Where did you apply?" he asked softly.

Puck looked up at him, startled, as if only realizing in that moment how much he had let on. "I..." he took a deep breath, put down his can and lowered his gaze. "NYU. They have a great music program."

Kurt held back the "I know" because that was one of the places where he had applied to too. He hesitated only a moment before he reached out to rest a hand on Puck's shoulder. "I think it's great."

"No one really knows," Puck said quietly, his eyes fixed on where Kurt's hand was resting. "Artie was the only one, and well, there's you now. He's been helping me raise my grades and he helped me fill out the application for NYU." His lips curved into a smirk then. "I may have threatened him to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone."

Kurt laughed and Puck looked up with a smile of his own, and everything felt scarily easy in that moment. Being around Puck felt right in a way being with Finn never had.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Puck cleared his throat and rose to his feet, saying that they should practice.

GLEE

Finn tightened his arm around Kurt's shoulders, burrowing further into the cushions of the sofa. He looked down at Kurt, finding him engrossed into the movie while he chewed on a strip of red liquorice, completely unaware of his surroundings.

He was about to lean down and kiss Kurt's neck when the front door opened and Burt's voice called out for Kurt. Finn slid a little away from his boyfriend because he may have known Burt Hummel pretty much all his life, but the man was still scary when it came to his son.

"Hey, Dad!" Kurt greeted without looking away from the movie.

Burt walked inside the living room, ruffling Kurt's hair and patting Finn on the shoulder. "How was your day, boys?"

"We had a Spanish test and glee practice," Finn answered. He laughed when Kurt barely nodded against his chest in response.

"Are you watching that movie again?" Burt asked, sitting down on his armchair and looking at the screen where cars were running fast on the street.

"He says it's for the cars," Finn answered, "but I think it's actually about Paul Walker."

Burt laughed, relaxing against the couch. "I guess I should be happy it's not Vin Diesel."

"I can hear you," Kurt said, chewing on a piece of liquorice he had bitten off the string.

Finn kissed him on the forehead, not really caring that Burt was sitting a few feet away, probably watching them. He tightened his hold around Kurt and his eyes fell on the clock hanging on the wall. "Damn. I'm running late." He disentangled himself from his boyfriend and quickly reached for his shoes, putting them on before getting up from the couch.

"Do you have to go?" Kurt asked, looking at Finn somewhat disappointed. "The movie's not finished yet."

"Mom told me to get back before dinner," he answered apologetically. He bent down and kissed Kurt softly on the lips, one hand sliding through Kurt's hair to keep him in place for only a moment; Burt was still there after all. "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Okay." Kurt smiled and turned around on the couch to watch Finn leave. As soon as the front door was closed, Kurt turned his attention back to the TV.

"So, you and Finn seem okay," Burt said casually.

"Of course, Dad."

"I was just wondering, with what you asked me a few weeks ago." Burt shrugged, but he did an awful job at feigning indifference.

"I..."

"I don't want to pry," Burt cut him off, holding his hands up. "I'm just checking to see if everything's okay with my only son."

Kurt frowned a little and lay down on the couch, getting back at chewing on his liquorice. "I'm not really thinking about it." He hesitated for a moment and then added, "It's scary."

Burt looked at his son for a moment before shaking his head. "Sometimes you're really stubborn, kid."

Kurt's lips curved upward into a small smile. "I got it from you."

"I know."

They went back to watching the movie and for a while the only sound in the living room came from the TV, the sound of the cars going fast, the screeching of the brakes and tires against the asphalt. Then Burt looked at Kurt and said, "I think it's my job to make sure you're happy."

Kurt glanced at his father in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Finn. You two still look like best friends."

"Dad..." Kurt sighed heavily sitting up and putting down his liquorice.

"I'm just saying," Burt shrugged, "I've seen you around those boys all your life, Kurt, and I know what I'm talking about. When Puckerman stopped talking to you, you looked shattered. You came home from school crying every day. Last year, you and Finn broke up for a month because of a fight you had about glee club and football, and you never cried once. Finn is a good guy and I'm just saying that maybe you should be honest with him. "

"Me and Puck," Kurt started, carefully avoiding looking at his father. "It's not what you think. He never liked me like that. He's not even gay, Dad, and I asked him why he stopped talking with me and he said..." He trailed off, looking at Paul Walker and Vin Diesel driving fast on the screen, stalling. "It was because I was too gay to be his friend."

Burt scoffed. "And you believed him? Kurt, that boy had tea parties with you in the backyard, let you play the husband so he could be the wife." Burt laughed shaking his head. "I haven't thought about that in a while. I think you two had three kids and a dog."

Kurt smiled suddenly, noticing that his vision was getting blurry. "Yeah, we did."

"You two watched Sesame Street together and tried to convince me and Noah's mom that Bert and Ernie were secretly in love. I may not be the smartest crayon in the box, but I know what I'm talking about when it comes to you two. I was surprised when you came home one day and announced that Finn was your boyfriend."

"I didn't exactly plan it, Dad." Kurt furrowed his brow and looked up at Burt. "You can't just plan something like that."

"That's what I'm saying, Kurt. That's exactly my point." Burt rose from his armchair and ruffled Kurt's hair on his way upstairs. He stopped halfway up the stairs and looked back at Kurt who was still sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. "How long are you two going to keep with those lessons?"

"He's coming over tomorrow and then again on Friday, same next week and then we'll see if I have the song down."

"Alright. Night, kid, and don't stay up late."

Kurt's answer came when Burt was already up the stairs and it sounded distracted, as though Kurt was so deep in thought that he wasn't really paying attention. Burt went to sleep with a smile on his face.

GLEE

They fell into a pattern. They rarely spoke to one another at school, but Puck stayed a little bit longer every time he came over and so, slowly, they started growing close again. While Puck taught Kurt how to play the song, they talked about colleges and glee club and Kurt's choreography and about their past. The fear to shatter that equilibrium they found stopped Kurt from thinking too much about what they were doing, about what he was feeling. He had never thought he was a coward, he wasn't one when he had to stand up for himself or the people he loved, but apparently, his feelings turned him into someone incapable of facing the truth.

The fourth Friday they spent together, Burt asked Puck to stay for dinner again and this time he accepted. Kurt felt something warm spreading inside him while he watched his father laugh with Puck, talking over dinner as if Puck had never stopped coming over. Throughout dinner, Kurt kept catching Burt glancing at him, and he made a mental note to ask about it later after Puck left.

When dinner was over, Puck excused himself to the bathroom and Kurt and Burt started on the dishes. Kurt had a small smile on his face and was humming, completely unaware of Burt, who kept looking at him every now and then.

"He spent another Friday night teaching you how to play the guitar." Burt's tone was casual and he glanced sideways at his son to see him still, the plate in his hand suspended above the filled sink. "It must be important for him to help you."

Kurt nodded without saying anything and Burt had to stop himself from smiling at the deep frown creasing his son's forehead. He grabbed a beer and kissed Kurt on the temple. "I'm going to go watch Deadliest Catch and then I'm going to sleep."

Kurt nodded again, distractedly, before putting the last plate in the dishwasher. He was so lost in thoughts, caught up in all the doubts that were going around in his mind (something he was starting to get used to) that he didn't hear Puck come back into the kitchen until he heard someone clearing their throat. When he turned around, he found Puck standing in the doorway.

"It's getting late so I'm going to..."

"Would you like to go on the roof?" The question was out before he knew he wanted to ask it. Puck looked at him, startled. "We used to... before..."

"Okay."

Kurt stared at him for a moment, feeling that knot that he always had in his stomach whenever he was alone with Puck tighten before he managed to smile. He was surprised that the boy hadn't just come up with an excuse and then left. Kurt walked over to him and grabbed his hand, "C'mon." He felt Puck's fingers close around his hand.

He led Puck up to the attic, letting go of his hand just long enough to open the window in the ceiling and climb out on the roof. Then he extended his hand to Puck once again, unable to stop himself from smiling down at him when the boy grabbed his hand, though they both knew that Puck didn't really need the help.

They sat down on the roof, side by side, and Kurt thought back to those summer nights they used to spend there just watching the stars. Back at when it was still Kurt, Finn and Puck, sometimes just Kurt and Puck.

He laid down, sighing heavily, and when Puck did the same, lying so close that their shoulders touched, Kurt turned his head to the side and stared at the other boy's profile. He could still hear Burt's words in his head and, before he could stop himself, he asked, "Why are you helping me? And don't say it's for the money, because this is the third Friday you ditch your parties and girls to come over here."

Puck shrugged. "Because it's important to you," he answered honestly, and Kurt was surprised. He shifted closer to Puck until their fingers were brushing together, and when Puck turned his head to the side and looked back at him, he found it hard to breathe. "The money was just an excuse to look like I didn't care." Puck chuckled then. "If you hadn't offered the money, I probably would have never accepted just so I could keep pretending I hated you. But truth is, it was hard to say no because it reminded me of when we used to be best friends and I'd help you with something."

"Why do you care again?" Kurt asked quietly, as if he feared that speaking in anything more than a whisper would make Puck run away.

"Kurt..." Puck shook his head, looking away and Kurt gripped his wrist to stop him from getting up to leave.

"Why did you hate me?" he asked, feeling that that question was more important than the one Puck was refusing to answer. "Please..."

"Because I was jealous of Finn," Puck said quickly, closing his eyes and feeling like for the first time in a long while he was letting someone really see him, and that was something he wasn't used to anymore. But it felt like this was his only chance at being honest, now that Kurt had been with Finn for two years, now that it looked like he had no chance left at getting the boy he loved. Feeling like it didn't matter for once if he was honest, feeling like maybe then he could start to move on, he opened his eyes and turned to look at Kurt. "Because I loved you and you chose him." He saw Kurt's eyes widening. "It was your choice, Kurt, we both loved you but _you_ chose _him_."

Puck saw Kurt's eyes shining in the dim light and that was a reaction he wasn't expecting. He wondered why Kurt looked like he still cared about them.

After several long minutes, Kurt quietly said, "I didn't know you were an option."

It was like a bucket of ice had been thrown at Puck. He felt panicked and sat up, turning away from Kurt because what he could see in Kurt's eyes, the regret and the pain, made him feel bad. It felt like he was betraying Finn, making Kurt feel like that; being honest wasn't supposed to mean this.

"Do..." He trailed off and gulped when he heard how weak his voice sounded. "Do you love him?"

Kurt nodded. "Yes."

Puck looked down at him before asking, "Are you in love with him?"

It took Kurt several seconds to answer and when he did, it was a shake of his head. This time it was him who looked away, feeling ashamed at admitting what he had known all along. "No. You always made me feel more. Finn..." He pulled himself up so he was sitting closer to Puck but this time without touching him. "I liked Finn." He rubbed his hands over his knees, a nervous habit, and kept his gaze downcast. "And I was scared of losing you if I told you that I... how I felt. I thought you would have never liked me like that, so when he kissed me, I kissed back." And it sounded so bad to say it out loud that Kurt hated himself.

Puck closed his hands into tight fists, angry at himself for never having the guts to be honest, to be really himself, and angry at Kurt because he hadn't had the courage to take a chance on him. But then the anger dissipated because he hadn't either. He got up and felt Kurt gripping his wrist once again.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Wait." He tugged on Puck's wrist to get him to stay. "I..."

"You're with Finn, Kurt, and I promised to respect that."

Kurt frowned. "To whom?"

"To him." Puck tugged his wrist free and Kurt let him. "You've learned the song, so I guess this was our last lesson. See you at school, Kurt." Puck quickly went down the window, the sound of his feet meeting the floor of the attic sounded distant.

Kurt sat there even after he saw Puck's truck disappear at the end of the street.

GLEE

Hearing Puck confess that he had loved him made Kurt feel full of regret. He wanted to find Puck and hit him, demand to know why he hadn't ever said anything, why he thought that humiliating Kurt, pretending they had never been friends, had been the right thing to do. He felt on the verge of tears once again, not because of sadness, but because of the anger he was feeling.

A rational part of his mind was trying to remind him that he had accepted to go out with Finn, that he could have said no, and that maybe then Puck would have had the guts to come forward and be honest. But there were a lot of times when Kurt was irrational and when it was about his feelings, he almost always was.

He kicked the seat of his vanity and felt like he could hit the wall or scream, and then his mind went to Finn and the anger left him. He thought about Finn, who had always been the perfect boyfriend, Finn, who had come out for him because he thought Kurt was worth it.

Kurt sat down on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands before squeezing his eyes shut, the heels of his palms pressing against them. He hated feeling like that, a mix of repressed anger and guilt. He had told Puck he wasn't in love with Finn. It was something he never let himself think about, but that didn't make it any less true. However, that didn't mean that when he said, "I love you" he didn't mean it, because he did. He had just always known it was different from when Finn smiled at him and murmured "I love you" against his lips. He realized in that moment what an awful person he had become.

He wondered if he was ever going to be brave enough to be honest with Finn. The confusion of the last few weeks dissipated and what was left, was the realization that he hadn't buried those old feelings he had always had for Puck deep enough.

He let himself fall backwards on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Time was up and now he had to talk with Finn.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

By the time Glee practice ended, they were all beat; they were one week away from having to show their performance to Mr. Schue, and the choreography still needed a lot of work. While the boys were at football practice, Kurt worked on the routine with Tina, Santana and Brittany. Mike helped when he could, but was only really free to do so during glee hours; as a result, it was taking longer than usual to come together. The glee jocks needed the extra help to pick up the steps but before he could do anything, Mike had to learn the choreography for himself.

Kurt was going over to Finn's that afternoon so they could have a quiet evening together. It had been two days since the last guitar lesson and Puck was still avoiding speaking to Kurt. Truth to be told, he even avoided looking at Kurt.

He could see why Puck was avoiding him; he got that Finn was Puck's best friend, that Puck didn't want to look like the guy who had stolen his best friend's boyfriend, but Kurt also wanted to talk to him, try to understand why he had never been honest about his feelings.

"What's on your mind?" Finn asked while they were heading to his place. He entwined his fingers with Kurt's between their seats and kept his eyes on the road, though his gaze kept wandering to his boyfriend from time to time.

Kurt leaned his head against the headrest and looked at Finn, absentmindedly playing with the hand he was holding. "I have to talk to you," he answered truthfully.

Finn's lips curved into a nervous smile and he did look at Kurt then.

"The road, Finn."

"I... that doesn't sound good," he replied, his eyes going back to look ahead of him. He tightened his hold around the steering wheel, pushing down on the doubts that were starting to invade his mind.

Kurt didn't answer. He squeezed Finn's hand and turned his head to the side so he could look out the window, letting his eyes follow the streets and the cars and the shops moving quickly by while they drove. It helped him keep his mind away from what he was going to tell his boyfriend once they reached the Hudson household.

They didn't talk for the rest of the drive and when they finally reached Finn's house, they quickly got out of the car. When they stepped in, Finn called for Carole to check that they would really have the house to themselves. When they got no answer, Finn grabbed Kurt's hand again and led him up the stairs to his room.

Once they were in the little room, Finn let go of Kurt and lingered near his desk. "Do you want something to eat or drink?" Finn put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, swaying from foot to foot. When Kurt shook his head and sat down on the edge of the little bed, Finn sighed and sat down next to him. "What's wrong?" He finally made himself ask while he thought back about the last few months, wondering if he had missed some sort of signal that would tell him what was going on.

There was silence for a few minutes, and even when Kurt finally did answer, he kept his gaze fixed on the posters hanging on the walls.

"Do you remember when you, me and Puck were friends?"

Finn's lips curved into a nostalgic smile. "Of course. I met you through him."

Kurt nodded and lowered his gaze, noticing how Finn kept sweeping his hands over his worn-out jeans. "And then he stopped speaking to me." Kurt looked up and his eyes found Finn's. "He started bullying me," he added quietly.

"I know."

"I've been talking with him lately."

Finn frowned and slid away from Kurt. "What?"

"I asked for his help and I pushed until he told me the truth because I'm like that." The last words sounded a bit derisory and he shook his head at himself. He wanted to know so he asked, because he was never one to plan ahead rationally.

"I didn't notice."

"That's because at school nothing ever changed." Kurt sighed deeply. "He came over to teach me how to play the guitar because I wanted to surprise you next week at glee for our anniversary, and my dad liked to get him to stay a little longer after our lessons so he could talk with him."

"Burt always liked Puck," Finn noted distractedly. "Did something happen between you?" He asked suddenly and his eyes fixed on Kurt. "Did you..."

"We just talked, Finn, but..." He had rehearsed what he was going to say a lot in the last few days and talking about it shouldn't have been so hard, but it was suddenly all so real. It all sounded final, and maybe he was overreacting because people broke up all the time, but Kurt had never been one to take things lightly. "You knew Puck liked me, didn't you?" he made himself ask.

Finn's shoulders sagged defeated. "More like loved you," he said quietly.

Kurt's hands closed into fists and his voice was suddenly a bit colder. Rationally, he knew this wasn't Finn's fault, but his mind was still focused on what being with Puck could have meant; he was sure that their chance had passed.

"He said he promised you to respect that I was with you. What did he mean?"

"We both loved you." Finn slid closer to Kurt, his hand reaching out to lift Kurt's chin so they could look each other in the eyes. "And we were fourteen. We felt like we were in one of those movies you made us watch, so we promised to respect the relationship you'd start with whoever you chose. Puck, he meant it more than I realized. Since you picked me, his way of respecting our promise was to pull away from you and make me swear to never tell you anything."

Kurt sighed, frustrated. "Why didn't you two ever tell me you both liked boys? I would never have kissed either of you because you were always talking about girls. We could have spent our whole lives dancing around it. He..." Kurt trailed off, looking away. "I never knew he was an option."

Finn smiled sadly. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and said, "I knew he was going to try something, he told me he was dying to kiss you and I was selfish. I kissed you first." He shook his head, angry at himself. "I don't know why he stopped talking to you and not to me."

Kurt didn't supply him with what Puck had told him about that and instead settled on asking, "So all this time you knew why he was upset with me and you never told me?"

"I can't apologize for that, Kurt," Finn said honestly. "I won't apologize for that."

Kurt turned to face him, eyes full of confusion. "What would you have done if I hadn't chose either of you?"

Finn looked amused all of a sudden and his lips curved into a smirk. "No respect. The moment something like that happened, we would have started telling you what an awful boyfriend you had and we would have started chasing after you until you gave up and chose one of us." His smile vanished quickly and he lowered his gaze again. "I always thought it was going to be Puck and he used to tell me I was crazy, that you would never have gone for someone like him."

Though they sat close together, the distance growing between them made it seem like they were miles apart. Finn stared at Kurt like he was trying to savor the moment, though Kurt wasn't looking at him.

Finally, Finn cleared his throat and asked, "Why does it matter now?"

Kurt shrugged. "I just..."

"It's time, isn't it?" Finn cut him off. He blinked his eyes rapidly against the tears. He had been ready for this ever since Puck had first introduced him to Kurt. Finn could still see that scene perfectly in his mind, Kurt playing with Puck on the monkey bars, laughing together while they pushed each other. Puck and Finn knew each other from the soccer team they played in, and when that afternoon Puck had called him because he had to introduce him to someone and ended up pointing at Kurt saying, '_this annoying kid is my best friend,_' and Kurt had answered, '_you are so rude, Noah,_' Finn had known he was going to be the third wheel for as long as they were friends.

"Time?" Kurt asked, looking at up him with confusion.

"Kurt, you and Puck are both so stubborn. If you were me and had to watch you two grow up together, you'd feel like I feel."

"I don't understand, Finn."

"Temporary, Kurt," he answered, and he sounded more sad than angry. "You two..." Finn shook his head. "He should have done something sooner."

"He didn't do anything. He told me how he felt and then left, saying that he had to respect what you and I have."

Finn got up from the bed then and looked down at Kurt. After a moment, he extended his hand and waited for Kurt to grab it, and when he did, he pulled Kurt to his feet and then slid an arm around his waist, pulling him closer and letting his lips find Kurt's.

His left hand find its way to Kurt's hair and if he was holding Kurt too tight, neither of them said anything. Finn kept the kiss slow despite feeling like he never wanted to let go. When he felt himself on the verge of giving into the need to deepen the kiss, he pulled away from Kurt and took a few steps back. He took a deep breath and then grabbed Kurt's bag from the floor, handing it to him.

"What are you doing?" Kurt's brows knitted into a frown, but he grabbed his bag nonetheless and slid its strap on his shoulder.

"Breaking up with you," Finn answered simply.

"That's it?" Kurt asked sarcastically.

"I love you, Kurt, and you and Puck are my best friends. If he can make you really happy, make you stop looking like something's missing, then I'm letting you go."

"What..."

"It hurts like a bitch, but I'm trying to help us here. So if you could just go..." he turned around, focusing his eyes on the ridiculous wallpaper of his bedroom walls. His hands closed into fists while he waited to hear Kurt walk away.

"I love you, Finn," Kurt said quietly.

"I know," Finn smiled sadly, glad that Kurt couldn't see him. "But you always told me that being in love is different than just caring about someone." He took a deep breath and started picking up things from his bedside table at random. "Can you just go, now? Please."

He waited until he heard the front door shut before letting go.

GLEE

The first glee rehearsal after the break-up was awkward for everyone. Kurt and Finn didn't dace with each other with their usual ease, they didn't even look each other in the eyes if not for brief glances.

Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the others to notice that everything was off, and they were all so focused on trying to figure out what was going on with Kurt and Finn that rehearsals turned out to be pretty much useless.

"This is not working!" Rachel finally exclaimed. She put her hands on her hips and glared at Finn and Kurt, who were both too busy hiding their discomfort at being so close to each other to notice that everyone's attention was on them.

"Did you two have a fight?" Tina asked cautiously.

Finn tore his gaze away from the piano and glanced at Kurt for a moment before focusing on Tina. "Not really."

"Guys, you're distracted," Mercedes cut in. She looked between the two boys, narrowing her eyes. "You two look like you'd rather be anywhere else than here... with each other," she added after a brief pause.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Kurt could see Puck, who was doing a poor job of pretending he wasn't listening. "We broke up."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Kurt walked up to where he had left his shoulder bag and quickly picked it up. He glanced around the room for a moment, taking in everyone's shocked faces and Puck's scowl. They'd all thought that Kurt and Finn were in love with each other, that once high school was over, they would move on to new and better things together. It wasn't surprising since they had never given any indication that what they had couldn't last.

"What happened?" Quinn's voice wasn't curious, but somewhat concerned. She was glancing between the two boys with a frown on her delicate forehead.

"It's not something we want to talk about," Finn answered. He crossed the room to where they had piled the chairs to have more room to practice, and retrieved his backpack. "We just decided to break-up."

There was silence for a few minutes and Kurt was almost at the door when Santana, voice full of excitement for the new gossip, asked, "So, who dumped whom?"

Luckily, neither Kurt nor Finn had to answer her because Mercedes took care of it with a, "Shut up, Santana!"

For a brief moment, Kurt's eyes found Finn's across the room. It seemed like all the rest disappeared for a few seconds. Then, slowly, Finn's lips curved into a sad half-smile and Kurt could finally see it, what he had been so worried about. They were going to be okay. Not now, but one day.

GLEE

Kurt looked at his cellphone when it rang again for what felt like the millionth time. Mercedes and Rachel had called non-stop ever since he walked out of the choir room earlier in the day. He thought that after ignoring the first ten calls, they would get the message that he didn't want to talk to anyone, but it looked like he was wrong.

Feeling frustrated, Kurt ignored the phone and went upstairs; watching a football game with his father was better than staying closed in his basement to brood over how much things had changed in the last month.

The TV in the living room was turned off and so was the light in the kitchen. It wasn't late enough for his dad to have gone to sleep already, so Kurt walked inside the kitchen and turned on the light before heading to the fridge where they kept a message board. Burt's messy handwriting told Kurt that his father was back at the garage to finish something that couldn't wait 'til morning.

"Great," he said sarcastically in the silence of the kitchen. "Home alone." He opened the freezer and looked inside for a minute before slamming the door shut. "And no ice cream."

He was about to head to the living room and see if there was something interesting on TV when someone knocked on the door. His eyes fell on the clock, where the hands signaled a quarter past ten. Another knock followed and then the doorbell rang.

"I'm coming!" Kurt said loudly heading to the door. When he pulled it open, he found Puck standing on the other side, his hands gripping the doorframe and his eyes blazing with wild emotions.

"Noa..." Kurt wasn't even able to finish before Puck walked inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

He turned around on Kurt then, walking up to him until he was invading his personal space. "What is wrong with you?"

Kurt was rendered speechless for an instant, then the anger and frustration took over. "Me? What is wrong with you!" He pushed Puck hard, making him stumble backward a couple of feet before Puck regained his footing. "You told me you used to love me and then just left!"

"_You broke up with him!_" Puck yelled.

The silence that followed was deafening. They stood there, chests heaving, their hands balled up into fists, both on the brink of finally letting those emotions they had buried for so long surge to the surface.

The silence that followed was deafening. They stood there, chests heaving, their hands balled up into fists, both on the brick of finally letting those emotions they had buried for so long surge to the surface.

"I didn't," Kurt finally said, his eyes never leaving Puck's, surprised to find fear in them. "He broke up with me because, apparently, he always knew that you and I were the ones supposed to be together." He paused for a moment, and then with an exasperated look, added, "And so did my father, by the way."

Puck lowered his head and his shoulders sagged. "I shouldn't have told you the truth."

"I told you, Puck, I loved you first." Kurt stopped the words, 'I still love you' from tumbling out of his mouth, along with 'you're still my first choice,' and it sounded horrible to Kurt, even without saying it out loud. "I wanted to sing to Finn, make this anniversary special, because I felt..." he faltered for a moment, debating whether he should be completely honest or not. And his eyes focused on Puck's lowered head, the way he was beating himself up for his best friend losing his boyfriend. He felt the need to be honest so Puck could see that he wasn't at fault. "I felt we weren't going to make it to the next one."

He took a step forward, close enough to close the foot between them and tentatively reach out for Puck's hand.

Kurt let his fingers slide along Puck's wrist, and then across his palm, and then through his fingers. He felt Puck's fingers flex and close around his, and he rediscovered what it was like to hold a hand that, once upon a time, always used to clasp his.

Kurt didn't dare look up, but he could feel Puck's eyes focused on him, making his skin crawl, making him feel exposed. He took another step forward. "I..." He trailed off for a moment, trying to put his thoughts in order. "We were cowards. I held onto Finn because it was safe, Finn held onto me because he loves me and you never said anything because you thought I could never love you."

When Kurt did finally look up, his eyes locked with Puck's and he could see now that he had been wrong; Puck had never stopped loving him.

He felt a hand being carefully laid on his neck, he felt Puck's thumb running across his jaw line, but most of all, he felt Puck shiver under the touch. He rested his free hand on Puck's hip, his fingers splayed, slipping under Puck's shirt. It was cheesy to say that it was hard to breathe in that moment, but it was the closest way in which Kurt could describe how he felt. He felt his body tense with anticipation, his breath stuck in his throat, his hands begging to touch more.

And then Puck leaned his forehead against his, took a step forward and just inhaled deeply before connecting his lips with Kurt's in a tentative kiss, while Kurt was still holding his breath.

Their lips barely brushed together before Puck pulled back, and Kurt had to blink several times before he was able to focus on Puck's intent stare.

Taking his hand away from Puck's hip, Kurt closed it around the wrist of the hand Puck still had around his neck and squeezed gently. A moment later, they met halfway, this time bringing their lips into a more sure kiss. It felt like they had finally broken down the barrier of 'we cant's', like they were overflowing with long-repressed feelings.

They pulled each other in closer while their lips moved together. Their hands started exploring their bodies as their kisses grew deeper. Kurt pushed Puck backwards until he had him pinned against the wall, and they both wanted to feel more, to feel everything, but one moment their mouths were sealed together, and the next Puck was pulling back.

"Not now." His voice was hoarse and it sounded like he was tearing the words from somewhere deep within him. "Not like this."

Kurt frowned but pulled back a little, his hands on Puck's hips. "What..."

"You just broke up with your boyfriend and Finn is my best friend."

"Puck..."

"No, hear me out, please." Puck's hazel eyes locked with Kurt's, letting the other boy see how important this was to him. "I don't want this to happen now. I don't want to be another high school boyfriend."

"How can you say that? I've been in love with you for so long..." Kurt stepped back, putting a few feet between them. He leaned against the wall across from Puck and kept his eyes fixed with the other boy's. "Maybe I just broke-up with Finn, but did you hear what I told you on the roof? I'm in love with you." It felt so different to say it and feel like it meant so much, like it finally had all that weight people said those words should carry.

Puck's lips curved upwards in a half-smirk, but his eyes were warmer than Kurt remembered them ever being.

Kurt noticed that he was gripping the wall and he wondered if it was as hard for Puck to keep his hands to himself as it was for Kurt. This wasn't just about touching each other, but about finally being able to do it after waiting so long.

"Kurt..." He shook his head and pushed away from the wall. "Not now," he said again. "I've waited for so long and for the first time in my life, I want to do this relationship thing right." He took a step forward and this time he did smile. "I want it to last, Kurt."

And really, what could Kurt say to that?

He reached up, his hands coming up to frame Puck's face, and then he quickly pulled Puck closer so he could kiss him again. When he pulled back, he took in the way Puck still had his eyes closed, how he was biting on his lower lip, kind of sucking on it as if he wanted to keep Kurt's taste with him for a little bit longer.

"Okay," he whispered. "I've waited for so long, what's a little bit more, right?" It was a little sarcastic. They both knew that it mattered because they _had_ waited long enough, but Kurt thought that maybe Puck was right, that getting together with him right after breaking up with his first and only boyfriend wasn't such a great idea.

So he slid out of Puck's arms and sent him home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

Kurt wondered how much things were going to change now that he and Puck had kissed; he wondered if they were going to pretend to be strangers like they had done for the last two years. However, at next glee rehearsal, Puck sat down next to him, even said "Hey," before starting to play on his guitar. It was impossible for Kurt to stop smiling after that, even when Rachel started yelling.

They showed their choreography to Mr. Schue at the end of the month, dancing and singing to _You Get What You_ Give which left Mr. Schue speechless.

"We are using that for Nationals!" he said enthusiastically while clapping his hands.

New Directions started laughing together, hugging each other, and when Puck turned around and pulled Kurt into a tight embrace, Kurt held onto him a little longer. He pulled back without saying anything, still respecting Puck's wishes.

Nationals that year was in Los Angeles and even though they had spent the last nine months talking about Sunset Boulevard and going to Beverly Hills as soon as they stepped out of the plane, they stood there for a moment, as if just realizing that they were there.

Mercedes grabbed Kurt into a tight hug, screaming in his ear, and he couldn't help but do the same when he pulled Rachel into their embrace.

Mr. Schue had more money than when they had gone to New York the previous year, so they were divided into groups of three and then sent to their rooms. Kurt found himself sharing with Sam, Mike and Artie, while Puck, Finn and Matt got another room. The girls divided into Santana, Brittany and Quinn, and Mercedes, Tina and Rachel. They had their songs ready, their choreographies as perfect as choreography with Finn could be, and they were ready to win.

That year, Nationals had the same bittersweet taste that the last few months of school had, because it was the last chance they had to win together, the Original New Directions; come September, the only ones that would walk inside the choir room again were going to be Tina and Artie.

McKinley's glee club spent the first day in L.A. going around the city. Mercedes, Kurt and Rachel went on every tour they could, and to any VIPs' houses they could find.

For a while Kurt thought he would have been able to stop thinking about where he stood with Puck, just enjoy the city and be there with his friends without focusing on what was going on in his personal life. However, he soon realized that he should have known better. The questions about his break-up with Finn started during the party (all girls, plus Kurt) they had on the second night, in the Cheerios' room.

"Do you have a new boyfriend?" Santana asked.

Kurt shook his head, taking another gulp from his Diet Coke. "Of course not."

"Why did you break up with Finn anyway?" Tina asked sounding like she genuinely cared about what was wrong instead of just wanting some new gossip.

"I didn't," Kurt answered. He squeezed the bottle he was holding tightly and didn't meet anyone's eyes. "He broke up with me."

The girls looked surprised, much like Burt had looked when Kurt had told him that he was single once again. However, Rachel was frowning, staring at Kurt as if she was trying to figure something out. It was unnerving.

"What?" Kurt asked a bit rudely.

"I..." She shook her head getting up from the floor to go retrieve another bottle of coke from the mini-fridge. "Nothing important. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Mercedes asked. She sat down cross-legged on the bed, her eyes following Rachel's every move.

Rachel looked at Kurt again and her eyes narrowed a little, but after glancing around the room, she ended up excusing herself, saying that she had to go look for Mr. Schue to ask about tomorrow's performance. Everyone believed it because it was so Rachel. Everyone but Kurt.

"I left my phone in my room," he said, getting up and dusting off his black jeans. "And I have to call my dad. Goodnight girls."

Rachel was leaning against the wall at the end of the hall and when she spotted Kurt; she smiled nervously.

"What's going on, Rachel?"

"You know, as captain of our team, I take it upon myself to always pay attention to all of you because I need to know your weak points so I can make you improve."

Kurt raised an eyebrow confused. "I'm not following you."

"I may be wrong, but did you and Finn break up because of Puck?"

Kurt looked away, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "It's not what you think."

"I think it is," Rachel said smiling. She put a hand on Kurt's forearm to make him look at her. "I don't think you cheated on Finn, Kurt, but I think that Finn caught onto Puck liking you and you liking Puck." She pulled her hand back and straightened her skirt, as if to look disinterested, though all the while she had some kind of self-satisfied grin on her face. "I saw him staring at you at school, I saw you staring at him, too. I was wondering what it was about. I mean, you and Puck are not a match you would think about, but you two strangely make sense."

Kurt huffed. "You don't really know what's going on Rachel, okay? It's complicated, and..."

"Are you two together now?" Rachel asked, cutting Kurt off as if he hadn't even been talking. She took a step forward and leaned in closer, a smile playing on her lips. "I think you should know that his mother is really serious about traditions..."

Rolling his eyes, Kurt took a step backwards. The last thing he wanted was to talk with Rachel about this. "I know Mrs. Puckerman better than you, Rachel, thank you."

Rachel recoiled, surprised. "You do?"

"Like I said, you don't really know what is going on. It's none of your business, but just so you know, we are not together."

"But you two look a lot closer, now," Rachel commented, not entirely convinced by Kurt's words.

"Because we are friends."

"You two?"

"Yes, Rachel and now, I'm going to go," Kurt answered, before turning around to walk back to his room.

Thinking about what had happened in the last month, Kurt realized that he had just gone from being confused about whether he still felt something for Puck, to being confused on what they were. True to his words, Puck hadn't tried to kiss Kurt again; he didn't even try to bring whatever they were up in a conversation. Every time Kurt found himself talking with Puck during glee club or at lunch, it was brief and about random things.

Puck asked about Burt, things like if he was seeing anyone new or how his health was, and in return, Kurt asked about Puck's sister, about Mrs. Puckerman. Kurt guessed that they were catching up, after all, you couldn't just go from two years of avoidance to being a couple, but he still would have liked to know exactly where they stood. Were they friends? Soon to be boyfriends? Or two people that just didn't have good timing when it came down to their relationship?

When Kurt reached his room, he told himself to stop thinking about it. It was like whatever had to happen between them was up to Puck, and Kurt wasn't entirely okay with it, but he knew that Puck had valid reasons for wanting to wait.

The sound of laughter and that annoying music that usually belonged to video games could be heard from the hallway, along with the clicking of bottles and swear words. Kurt opened the door, smiling and expecting to find only Artie, Mike and Sam playing. He stopped halfway inside when he saw Puck and Finn sitting cross-legged on the floor, each one holding a remote and laughing while they yelled things like "Loser!" and "You're so slow!" at each other.

Sam was the first one to spot him and he greeted Kurt with a smile and a, "Hey!"

Closing the door behind him, Kurt said, "I could hear you from down the hall."

"I'm handing Finn's ass to him," Puck answered, his eyes fixed on the game, his fingers flying over the control.

"They've been playing for the last two hours," Artie said. He grabbed another coke from the mini-fridge and handed it to Kurt, telling him to take a seat somewhere. "You'd think they are battling for world peace or something."

Without really thinking about it, Kurt sat down on the floor next to Puck, because that was where he used to sit once upon a time. He glanced at the two boys next to him and noticed how forcefully they were smashing the buttons. He realized that it was their way of fighting: better to kill a fictional character in a game than hit your best friend. When Kurt took a sip from his bottle, his arm brushed against Puck's, making the boy lose focus for a moment.

"Ah ha!" Finn yelled in triumph using Puck's distraction to kill off his character. "Who's a loser now, Puckerman?"

Puck threw the control down and called Finn a cheater, even though the smile on his face never faltered and he never moved his arm away from Kurt's.

GLEE

As history would have it, New Directions had to perform against Vocal Adrenaline, but for the first time, they actually managed to beat them and go to the top 10. They had never been so close to winning Nationals, and they were so sure of themselves, had so much energy and cohesion, that when they performed for the last time, they knew they had won.

When they were proclaimed winners, they were proclaimed winners, there were tears, since their first Nationals win as a group was also their last time together.

They partied at the hotel and Mr. Schue broke his promise and bought them one bottle of champagne; they toasted in cheap plastic glasses and ate slightly stale chips.

The flight back home the next day was early, and they all stumbled out of bed to get ready, still half-asleep. Once the adrenaline from the victory subsided, the exhaustion of the week caught up with them and most of the glee club spent the flight back sleeping.

Mr. Schue, Puck, Kurt and Artie were awake, and while Artie spent his time talking with Mr. Schue about what they were going to do next year with the glee club, Puck and Kurt found themselves sitting next to each other in silence, Mercedes snoring on Kurt's shoulder.

"You were great," Puck suddenly said.

Kurt looked up at him with a frown. "What?"

"When you sang with Rachel, you were great." Puck turned around in his seat and his eyes found Kurt, a small smile curving his lips, and his hands gripping the armrests of his seat tightly. "I could actually see you two being in some musical on Broadway. I mean, I don't know anything about musicals, but that's what you two want to do, right?"

Kurt nodded. He could feel himself blushing a little, because usually it was Rachel who complimented him on his performances.

"Well, I think you'll make it, both of you." Puck chuckled, leaning forward a little, and didn't look away. "You have talent and you're stubborn. I can't wait to see you making it."

"Will you?" Kurt asked, and his voice sounded breathy, caught somewhere in his throat, and if they had been anywhere else, far away from their friends and their snoring, Kurt would have found everything really romantic. However, Mercedes' head resting heavily on his shoulder, Artie's loud laughter, and the sound coming from the PSP Finn had been playing before falling asleep, gave a sense of reality to everything, and that was a lot better.

"What do you mean?" Puck asked, and he sounded genuinely confused.

"Will you really see it?" Kurt slowly leaned closer to the other boy, trying not to disturb Mercedes. His eyes were determined when they locked with Puck's again. "I don't mean on the news, but will you be _there_ to see it?"

Silence filled the next few moments, and Kurt's hands closed tightly around the armrest between his seat and Puck's. He didn't even try to hide his nervousness, he just waited until he felt fingers sliding through his and Puck leaned a little bit closer.

"I got accepted at NYU," he whispered.

Kurt's lips curved upwards into a little grin that quickly became a smile. "As in New York University?"

Puck rolled his eyes and didn't answer, but he was still holding Kurt's hand and he was still smiling.

It didn't mean a lot, just that they were going to be in the same city, that maybe Puck didn't want to lose contact. Kurt really didn't want to start making plans, to start imagining them sharing a little apartment they would hate because it was too small, and the neighbors were horrible, and the noises coming from the street too loud. He tried to stop himself but couldn't, and the way Puck was looking at him, the hope and fear that Kurt could see in his eyes, made it alright. In fact, it made it a lot more than alright.

"Okay," he said quietly, his fingers squeezing Puck's.

"It still isn't time, though," Puck pointed out.

Kurt sighed. "I know. It doesn't matter."

GLEE

If Puck suddenly staying over every Friday dinner was unusual, Burt didn't say anything. He told Kurt that they could go on the roof or stay in the living room to do their homework, but that the bedroom was off limits. He treated Puck like he had always treated Finn, and never once asked what was going on.

The last month of school was spent studying together and "meeting at an appointed place at an appointed time" that they never called dating, and finally, about what they were going to do come September.

One afternoon while they were studying together, Puck asked, "Are you going to be living with Rachel?"

Kurt nodded distractedly while chewing on his pencil. "Yep. I wish you'd come to live with us, it would make everything easier."

Puck swallowed slowly, his eyes focused on the other boy. He was half waiting for Kurt to say that he had been joking, but he never did. What he did do, was turn around, a frown on his face, and say, "Would you like something to drink? It's too hot to keep studying."

"I'd like that," Puck answered, still shocked.

Kurt nodded and raised from his chair. "I'm in the mood for some iced tea, is that okay?"

"I'm not thirsty."

Puck sounded annoyed, as if it was Kurt's fault he didn't get what he meant and it made Kurt frown in confusion. "I asked you..."

"I meant that I'd like to live with you two. I mean, we're all going in the same place, and we're only going to know each other at first. It makes sense, right?" He looked sheepishly up at Kurt and when he didn't get an answer, he ran a hand through his mohawk.

Kurt grinned, a little surprised at first, and then he broke into a big smile and had to stop himself from saying something embarrassing like, "Hell yes!"

"We are leaving in August and we are still looking for a place we will actually be able to afford. Me and Rachel have a sort of weekly meeting where we discuss school and apartments. You could join us next time, if you want."

Puck grinned. "Cool."

After that day, Rachel became the only one besides Kurt to know that Puck was going to college, that he was going to leave with them, that they were moving into their new lives together, and Kurt was surprised to see how supportive she was.

Rachel made sure to include Puck in every conversation about New York she had with Kurt, whether it was about an apartment they had seen online or what musical they were going to see first. It all became natural and by the time graduation rolled around, Kurt had stopped feeling anxious and was more than ready to move on.

New Directions sang one last time (at graduation), right after Figgins' speech and before Rachel's. They stood next to each other, Artie and Tina's white gowns setting them apart from the others' blue ones, and sang Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C.

Later, after the caps had been thrown up in the air and the pictures taken, Kurt and Puck found themselves sitting on the back of Puck's old pick-up, sharing a comfortable silence.

After a while, Finn joined them, sitting down between them.

"Can't believe it's over," he said.

Kurt nodded. "And now you are going to Ohio State. I bet you will become quarterback there too."

Finn smiled, happy to hear that Kurt still believed in him. He twisted his gown in his hands and shrugged. "It's going to be harder."

"I'm sure you'll make it," Puck said. He slid his arm around Finn's shoulders and squeezed him into a half embrace. Kurt hesitated a moment before sliding his arm around Finn's waist; it still felt familiar.

Finn slid an arm around Puck's shoulders and the other around Kurt's. "And you guys are off to New York."

"Yeah, with Rachel," Kurt said, with a tone that was supposed to sound annoyed, but that only ended up making Finn laugh.

"Dude, I wish I could see you three together. I wonder how long it's going to take before you end up wanting to kill each other."

"We'll be two against one, anyway," Puck commented. "We're going to win every argument."

"Yeah, you two." Finn sounded wistful and Kurt hugged him tighter, wanting to keep the bad feelings at bay.

"When we come back for Christmas, we will have to hang out together," Kurt said softly. He looked at Finn and at Puck, trying to smile. "Right?"

Finn shrugged. "Maybe. We're going to change a lot," he added, "We could stop being friends and lose track of each other."

"Nope." Puck smirked before looking ahead, as if he could see into the future. "It's going to be us together for the rest of our lives."

"Puck, dude, you're turning this into a chick-flick moment," Finn said, but he was grinning and Kurt could feel him relaxing against him.

"We even made an oath with blood and spit and all the rest," Kurt added. He scrunched up his nose a little, thinking about the summer back when they were nine and used to sleep in Kurt's three house.

"We made you do some disgusting things," Puck said, laughing. He looked at Kurt, his eyes shining and full of laughter.

"And he made you do girl's things," Finn cut in. He turned to look at Puck and laughed. "I saw the pictures. You made a nice looking wife."

"Shut up, dude!" Puck pushed Finn playfully and stood up. "I'm going to go find Ma."

Finn and Kurt watched him walk away before Finn turned around and said, "I'm glad you're going to be with him."

"Are we okay?" Kurt asked tentatively.

Finn stared at him, taking in the way the sun was making Kurt's skin look paler than usual and his eyes look brighter. He looked worried, a small frown creasing his forehead, and Finn decided that it was really time to let it go. "Yeah," he finally answered, nodding a couple of times, and he was glad that Kurt didn't comment on his voice sounding higher than usual. "Yeah, we're okay."

The smile Kurt gave him made it worth it.

Epilogue

The door leading from the kitchen to the backyard squeaked a few times when it was pushed open. The usual green grass was covered in snow and Finn's steps left footprints on the soft white blanket. He tightened his jacket around himself and put his hands under his armpits. Whenever he inhaled, the cold air burned his throat, and every exhale was met with a little white cloud.

He had left his gloves in the living room, so when he put his hands on the wood of the little staircase that led up to the old tree house, he shivered. "Couldn't they wait for me in the living room?" Finn mumbled to himself.

He reached the trap-door and pushed, but he was unable to open it. He heard giggling and then the trapdoor was opened and Puck's smiling face looked down at him. "Fucking finally, Hudson."

"Get out of the way," Finn said, pushing his way up. It was definitely harder to get through the little entrance at nineteen, and being as tall as he was didn't help. Once he was inside, he quickly closed the trap-door to keep some of the cold out, even though it didn't really help.

When Finn looked up, he found Puck and Kurt sitting on an old quilt, huddled together under a spare one.

"Couldn't we meet inside?"

"No way, Finn. Have you seen your mother and my dad?" Kurt asked, sounding a little disgusted. "They're kissing all the time."

"What if they were waiting for you two to break up so they could get it on?" Puck asked, laughing. Kurt hit him on the shoulder and Finn threw a packet of chips at him.

"Don't hit me all the time," Puck told Kurt, but he was smiling, and he leaned forward, his lips finding Kurt's automatically. Kurt's skin was almost freezing but his lips were stretched into a smile against Puck's, and Puck found himself not caring about Kurt's lips being cold and chapped.

"Can you save it for later?" Finn asked, annoyed. He sat down next to Kurt and tugged on the quilt until it was covering his legs as well.

"Did you find a boyfriend?" Puck asked. He slid an arm around Kurt, bringing him closer. Kurt relaxed against his side and reached for the bag of chips Finn had thrown at Puck.

"I've been busy with football," Finn answered shrugging. He got a handful of chips and put them all in his mouth before reaching for one of the cokes lying next to them.

"That's disgusting," Kurt said.

"You should see you and Rachel whenever you're watching one of those stupid movies. You two start crying all over the place and you get snot on my shirt all the time. _That_'s disgusting."

Kurt pushed him playfully but Puck laughed, reaching for his hand and entwining their fingers together, getting Kurt to lean against him once again.

"How's the big city?" Finn asked around a mouthful of chips.

"Great. Chaotic but funny. We have met really nice people, and by that I mean that Puck's friends are cool. Me and Rachel are stuck with annoying egocentric snobs."

Puck rolled his eyes, reaching for a beer he had snuck out of the fridge while Burt was busy with Carole. "You two are annoying egocentric snobs too. Believe me, I have to live with you two."

Finn kept his eyes fixed on the couple. The ease they had with each other surprised him. Kurt had never really been this open when they were together. He wondered what else was different about the boy now, but he shook his head to chase the thought away. "You guys okay?" He heard himself asking.

Kurt nodded, a big smile on his face. He grabbed Puck's arm and wounded it around his shoulders before reaching for the bag of chips Puck had stolen.

Puck kept the bag up above his head, laughing until Kurt pinched his side. He handed the bag of chips over and stole a kiss, and then looked up at Finn, his eyes full of something Finn had never seen there before: love and joy and fullness. "We are great," he finally answered.

Finn was happy to realize that they had all moved on from the past, that now, looking at Kurt, it didn't seem like something was missing anymore. He looked just as whole as Puck did. For the first time, when Finn told himself that he was happy for them, he actually meant it. After all, he had always felt like Puck and Kurt were something inevitable, and it finally felt okay to admit it.

The End


End file.
